The Birthday Present Pt 1: A Year in Review

I mentioned in a post some months back that I dislike my birthday. In particular, I dislike the attention and gifts lavished upon my person, a person most antipathetic towards spotlights of any sort (whether they be metaphorical or high-intensity). With no exception save Chuck Norris, a famous ninja is a dead ninja. But if presents must be given on a birthday, I would rather they go to the well-wishers themselves, in recognition of their kindness and attention. Hence the Birthday Present in two parts, a small token of appreciation to those who have been here from the start and those who have only just discovered the secrets of the Valley.

And how, you ask, might one stumble across these secrets, hidden away in a subspace dimension shrouded in enigmatic conundrums and noodles? Some discover the Valley through expedition and willpower. Some are told of its location by others and subsequently make their pilgrimage. Some use Google. And when one asks the great search engine anything – and anything means anything – it doth deliver. Many have stumbled into the Valley in search of various things, and we hope at least some have left disappointed. Why? Without further ado, we give you A Year In Review, the most misspelt, incomprehensible, and downright dirty search terms to have led to our site:

• Ninja termenolgi (11/08/09)
• ninjaakbak (7/09/09)
• Chinese brothel epping
  NB: This search query has been logged on at least twenty occasions, and begets the question “what do people think ninjas REALLY do?”. For the record, there is no Chinese brothel in Epping, at least not according to my late nights minions’ scouting.
• how to balance a coin on a lemon in water (21/11/09)
• the nonja review (27/12/09)
• how do you balance a coin on lemon (29/12/09)
• mad mex corona chandalier (17/1/10)
• Cheap dartgun (22/1/10)
• brothels epping nsw (27/1/10)
• lady boy edible salad (2/2/10)
• +restaurant called ninja circles (17/2/10)
• ff13 review (22/2/10)
• karaoke for drunk people (8/3/10)
• doof bokeh (9/3/10)
• reviews of using royal flush for cocaine (20/3/10)
• ninja prawn (23/3/10)
• gold sheen on my raw steak? (31/3/10)
• www.thai scat.com (3/4/10)
• how to make a milkshake with the ninja (6/4/10)
• engg1805 (11/4/10)
• chat with little thais (19/4/10)
• brothel epping nsw (26/4/10)
• ninja kitchen buy one get one free (26/4/10)
• rape alley sidney (26/5/10)
• lady boys thailand chat (2/6/10)
• Cripple Creek Desert Mix (5/6/10)
• weight watchers seafood laksa (5/06/10)
• burberry cake (26/06/10)
• sydney; beach tits (4/7/10)

Age and maturity are not at all synonymous. Happy Birthday, Shinobi Valley.

Ed: to go back to the beginning, use the TARDIS in the sidebar.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of The Birthday Present! Coming to you next week! Maybe with zombies! Or maybe not!

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