Melbourne Madness: Revenge of the Fries

Location: Ninja Base Camp 1, [Classified] Melbourne 3000 VIC

Taste-type: death New-Age Fast Food

Price: Large Fries and extra sauce $5.50 (approx), Wicked Wings $25 (approx)

How to get there: [Classified]

What does it take to kill a ninja?

1. Acquire fifty Wicked Wings from KFC:

2. Acquire a few boxes of fries from Lord of the Fries with extra servings of Belgian Mayonnaise. Make sure that the extra mayonnaise is not served on the fries but in separate containers:3. Offer both Wicked Wings and Belgian Mayonnaise to a ninja (Lennycakes is most susceptible). Leave the area as soon as possible.

This devious ploy was put into action by an anonymous shooter and experienced limited success. One ninja, Lennycakes, was slain by the trap and had to be revived with Death-Cheating Technique #44 (Kick to Groin). However, the other three ninjas in our team were unaffected. I would also like to note, so as to somewhat deflect criticism of my training methods, that Lennycakes had also ingested copious quantities of alcohol and propane prior to, and during, engagement with the trap. I would also like to point out that when revived, Lennycakes claimed the experience to have been “orgasmic”, “one of the best experiences in my life”, and “making Melbourne worthwhile”.
In the interests of science, I recommend further research into the necessary critical mass of Wicked Wings required to stop a ninja’s heart, noting that the anonymous shooter’s test turned out to be rather enjoyable for all the ninjas involved. This should be considered a test failure and duly noted in all relevant records.

The Ninja takes no responsibilty for coronary arrest resulting from this post.

Tagged as: belgian mayonnaise, coronary arrest, fries, fries and mayo, fries and mayonnaise, how NOT to kill a ninja, how to kill a ninja, kfc, lord of the fries, mayo, wicked wings, worst decision of my life