Friday Night Food Part 2: Ton-Ton

Location: Regent Place, 501 George St, Sydney NSW 2000

Taste-Type: Japanese

Price: Ton-Ton Ramen $9.80, Tonkatsu-don $9.80

How to get there: Train or bus to Town Hall station or QVB, then walk towards the George St cinemas. Look out for the signs to Ton-ton and Azuma Kushiyaki on your right if you’re walking from the station. The restaurant is hidden away inside the grey-sleek Regent Place.

Contact: 02-92671313

Photos by the Shooter

As we wipe away the bloodstains (and, in the Pimp’s case, some other more salacious types of stain) from our slaughter of a Mad Cow, I do the unthinkable and

fall into a trap.

Whether it be because of the drinks or the hunger or the eviscerating doof-doof of the Ivy, I do not know. It’s a trap! Screams the Pimp, but his hand is caught down his trousers and there is nothing he can do. I feel a burst of heat wash over me, crucifying me in mid-air, searing the very core of my titanium-encased stealth-generating heart. All around me the city pumps and bleeds and sparks, jeering at my fate. Then I am being carried away by my shooter, dragged out into the street where (according to his post-op report) I babble about the fires of hell and chicken kaarage. We need to find a safe-house.

After much swearing and innuendo, the Shooter and the Pimp manage to drag me to Ton-Ton, the little oasis of decently-priced Japanese food which many other foodbloggers know and love. When the Shooter finds out that this oasis has run dry of chicken kaarage, he has no choice but to order me the Tonkatsu-Don, the closest we can find to the deep-fried panacea of Ton-Ton’s signature dish. The Tonkatsu is slightly damp and lacks the crispy fluffiness usually associated with the dish, but the pork is solidly filling and is complemented by a generous serve of rice. I am quickly brought back to speed by the restorative powers of the sweet-airy omelette, which wraps around the tonkatsu like the Pimp’s hands around a svelte derriere. The Shooter, however, has reserved the best for himself, procuring a bowl of Ton-Ton Ramen to balance out the night’s earlier disappointment. Each spoonful of broth simmers with a lush creamy spice that can cure even the most dire ills, whether they be of the body or the mind. As one experienced with the dish, the Shooter savours the two slices of pork, cutting them up into tiny tender morsels of calm simplicity. I attempt to raise myself and acquire some of the ramen by stealth, but the Pimp knocks me to the floor in his haste to acquire some of a semi-pretty girl across the room. I am not too far gone to swear eternal vengeance.

The Ninja has hidden a special photo in this post. Can you out-stealth the stealth assassin and find it?

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